Part II: The Meander

Well it looks like this post idea has mostly spoiled, since I left it too long. i cannot put my mind back where it was two months ago.

Except that I was lonely.

The summer, in reflection was difficult in some ways. For the first month, my heart would cry out for people, demanding it of a body slightly out of shape and a mind that was all too bored.

I remember one night, I had just finished watching Will & Grace. Bad idea. I had made myself a reasonable dinner that night, so I was well fed, but people hungry.

I was incredulous, that (regardless of whether or not it was true) I didn't feel like I had anywhere to go, anyone to go to. My mainstays were the Rose, and occasionally I'd see some people from church, but really, in the intimate meaningful form of the word, I was alone. More or less surrounded by people and alone.

And I wanted a relationship.

I realized that, I went outside and prayed to God that I would get some indication of the person I was going to marry. Then I just waited in the backyard waiting for some young woman to walk around the corner and we would go inside and spend a lovely evening together and be happy for longer than we were on this Earth.

No one came and I gazed at the sky, trying to communicate my feelings with God. Trying to articulate me. Trying to find myself.

I went inside and fell asleep.